All Apologies

Pietro said in his comment to my Reminder post this morning:

It's a shame that your multi-millionaire ego prevents you from saying the four hardest words in the English language: "Sorry, I was wrong."

And I do feel like apologizing.

Not for the Microsoft People Ready thing. That's way overblown. But for two things related.

I am sorry I called Jeff Jarvis "old school". He's not old school in the least. His comment to the Reminder post is one of the best things I've read in this whole Microsoft advertising affair. Like all things Jeff Jarvis, it's too long and I am not going to cut and paste it here, but click on this link and scroll down. It's great.

I am also sorry for the arrogance that was on display yesterday and today, as called out by Michael in his comment to the same post. Again click on this link and scroll down.

Arrogance is a personality trait I've had since birth. Ask my brothers and parents. I am not proud of it and I've worked hard to mute it. Not alway successfully. And since this blog is me, it will reflect that from time to time.

And for that I am sorry.

Comments

[Robert Seidman]

please be careful with your muting. Quite a bit of the charm (to me) of reading you is your personality.

Having the people-ready ad running right next to your apology...loved it!

[mark]

apologise? why? if someone has reason to re-consider your credibility in light of what you say and do then they should move on. i have on many blogs over the years. This whole issue around the new rules of accountability are what makes the blogoshere so valuable and interesting to me. And while noble of you to apologise for your arrogance, thats all part of what your blog is about and who you are. So F**kin what if you are a bit arrogant.

[Robert Dewey]

I've been fortunate enough to not encounter the arrogant Fred... I know your advice can sometimes be blunt one-liners that require the Rosetta stone, but hey - that's more than I can say for the other 99% of VCs who don't respond to people.

I've already made my mind up long ago, before blogs were mainstream and business plans were submitted to obscure VCs via e-mail forms. I'll seek out angel investors, but I'll never seek out a VC. If my startup gets to a point that it needs VC funding, I'll make it known... but I won't directly approach a VC.

[Rik]

Hmmm... I think there's nothing you need to apologize for. At least not on this site. Please keep your thoughts going, they're great and they help people like me understand some things that otherwise I probably wouldn't.

[Charlie]

Multi-millionaire ego?

Does that guy know you at all??

I think the whole thing was utterly ridiculous and overblown. God forbid you and a company that advertises here should speak the same language.

There are bigger fish to fry in the world.

Don't let anyone convince you that your blog is anyone's but your own. You set the rules around here. You act like yourself. If they don't like it, they can unsubscribe.

[Charlie Crystle]

Fred, I think I'm oneo fo your top 5 commenters, a fairly active ramorra (sad, in some ways, but I'm bored with my own conversation). I gotta say, you don't owe any explanations to anyone, and don't need to apolgize for anything. Except for apologizing and feeling like you need to respond.

Do your thing. If people don't like it or can't be constructive, that's their thing. So what. Who cares. If you don't speak your mind in your way by your rules, I'm not interested anymore.

Blog on :)

[jim]

I don't think it's arrogance as much as it's "I'm taking my ball and going home" brattiness. I mean, you're a huge champion of "citizen journalism" and a huge champion of "blogging as the new journalism." But when push comes to shove, and others attempt to judge your blogging by standards of journalism, you say, This isn't journalism! This is only a blog! I do what I want! Leave it if you don't like it!

I, for one, will remain because I really love this blog. I, for one, will remain really skeptical of the conventional wisdom that says blogs are the new journalism.

[Pietro (BRZ)]

Let me get this straight - you are apologizing for possibly offending Jeff Jarvis with the use of "old school" (puhhhh-leaze) and coming across as arrogant but NOT for the People Ready thing? That doesn't make any sense. It sounds like a smoke and mirrors game to make kumbaya with Jarvis and others while still ignoring the very real issues which he has gone to great detail to spell out - only for you to dismiss his points blanketly by saying the whole thing is overblown! If you sincerely think his comment was the best on the whole affair, could you please say which parts specifically? Because his admonishment doesn't excuse you at all. If anything, you remain unclear and muddy as ever since you just said you're still not apologizing for your involvement in the campaign. So which is it, is Jeff right or is he overblowing an issue that you refuse to apologize for? Guess what's rearing its ugly head again - yeah, that arrogance with a bonus side of contradiction growing out of its mouth.

My gripe is not actually the arrogance and I don't think it's something you should apologize for. Knock yourself out being the BMOC, you've earned that right with your success. No, the real transgression is your utter hypocrisy here. People have pointed out the most blatant example with your previous pledge to cut Microsoft out of your life and then later shilling for them. That's unbelievable beyond words.

But for me it's the more subtle hypocrisies that leave the worst taste. You champion social media yet if someone disagrees with you on something, your initial response is to tell them to get the hell off of your island? Geezus frackin' krist, that's the most NON-PEOPLE READY position I can think of! Being "people-ready" does not involve cutting the conversation off to save your face.

Sure, it's your blog, your rules. That's great. But you're part of a larger community, one you are quick to praise when it's to your advantage, and just as you're entitled to your opinion, we are entitled to comment and challenge it. Doesn't mean either side is going to necessarily listen to the other, much less sway them, but it's out there and it's a learning exercise. This isn't an argument to "win" - you're going to go to sleep tonight feeling great about yourself, as you should, we all should. But those who disagree with you are not attacking the sovereignty of your blog. Quite the opposite. We're just saying we're really disappointed and expected differently of you. We want to make sure YOU ARE in charge around here but enthusiastically cooperating with this Microsoft campaign and defending it really clouds a perception a lot of us had of you.

Apparently you feel that's our problem, not yours, and when push comes to shill, I guess you're right.

[jackson]

F@#k e'm Fred.

It's not arrogance, in this instance at least. I read it as somebody putting his foot down in a moment of frustration. It sucks when we're not understood, or misconstrued.

All I've evr seen you do - in anything, is try to make the right descisions for the right reasons, and back up your positions with actions.

Nobody is right all the time, and you shouldn't have to apologise for being wrong, if indeed you even are - who's to say.

I think 'Toys in the Attic' is a better record than 'Rocks'. Tony disagrees. What are we to do - listen to both......

Again, F@#k 'em.

[Andy Swan]

It's only arrogance if you're wrong.

[Mae Ozkan]

Reading your blog has been a very positive and enjoyable adventure. I have learned so much about many things particularly investing. Living outside of the US, Turkey, it is one of the things that keeps me bonded to the world I have lived and love, technology and venture capital investing.

My selfishness says, keep the colour you have in your blog, so we can learn as much about you, what you think and how you operate. The beauty is in differences in personalities, thoughts, ideas, creations...

[NICCAI]

Much ado about nothing. The only reason this is even being discussed is because it was for Microsoft. It sounds more like a case of the "high and mighties." The only thing proven from this hoopla is that it takes a true journalist to make an ad campaign a whopping success. Honestly, I think all of this evangelizing about blog ethics is purist drivel. Blogging is evolving. Journalism is evolving. How can I possibly navigate these treacherous waters on my own?

I think I'm going to call bull sh*t on Nick Denton. His entry is nothing but link bait. I wonder what his Comscore is?

[steve Kane]

@jackson: toys in the attic and rocks are awesome albums but get your wings crushes 'em. spare and raw and soulful.

[Rickson Malley]

So you're apologizing for who you are ?

Fred, arrogance is not a personality trait.
Arrogance is a vice that generally shields insecurity.

In this day of rampant liquidity chasing a limited number good deals, the message to smart entrepreneurs is be selective who you get your money from and make sure you can work with them...

As self proclaimed arrogant VC, who feels the need to apologies for it, may set off some alarm bells..

Fred - the only person you need to apologize to is yourself, and perhaps your partner at USV.

Strike 1.

[cfw]

The arrogance, if any, is not from the success. He acted like that pre-success. You should have seen his golfing cousin - made FW look like a shrinking violet.

[Pietro (BRZ)]

Looks like Fred no longer wants to address the issue and he's decided to leave the conversation. Perhaps he's smart to stifle it, but there's unfinished business with his contradictory praising of Jeff Jarvis's comment while still refusing to apologize for what JJ so eloquently points out.

He's in an indefensible position and people like him shut others out when there's disagreement. That's pretty arrogant and not very people-ready.

F@#k 'em, indeed.

[Tony Alva]

Fred,

As a long time reader and friend, I'm pretty sure I know when you're shillin' and when you're not. Eliminating MS from your life was one of those Frodo comments I rolled my eyes at and laughed. I wouldn't pay it another moments thought. I read your blog a billion times a week and never saw the stinkin' ad. I read Jarvis, although a little less frequently, and must have missed/skipped his post about it (although I think he articulates the issue well, perhaps making mountains out of mole hills a bit). If you'd never posted about it, I never even had known you made the comment to begin with. I’d call that pretty squared away and transparent if you ask me. Maybe Federated’s idea isn't all that great after all.

Now to the more important discussion here...

Steve K,

You can certainly make a strong argument for Get Your Wings. I’d be interested in hearing it. You will find that Jackson believes that the mind blowing guitar work in Train Kept a Rollin’ was NOT played by Joe Perry, but by a noted session guy whose name escapes me at the moment. Seasons of Wither, Train, SOS Too Bad, Same ole Song and Dance… That is a strong case indeed.

But…, not enough to topple Rocks. It’s just too damn good front to back. Back in the Saddle, Last Child, Rats in the Cellar, Combination, and of course, Nobody’s Fault with the most illinest wah wah guitar playing since Jimi H. last put his foot on one.

Yes, Jackson is capable of presenting a solid case for Toys in the Attic. I’ve heard him out numerous times. I’ve even come close to being convinced. This debate has consumed us since we were in college. Is it time to just let it go? Of course not! Not until he finally sees that I’m right.

I think I’ll listen to all three again this evening and concur with my bad self…

[Vijay]

Fred,
You are my role model now. It takes a lot to say those four words. Tx

[FlamingEgoVictim]

"I've been fortunate enough to not encounter the arrogant Fred..."

Then you've never pitched to him. Believe him. He's a total ass.

Here's a clue, Fred: Being "people ready" means 1) having listening skills and 2) understanding that you really don't know it all.

[newwestliving]

Fred,

It's not arrogance; it's being assertive.

If you had been an arrogant person, you wouldn't have apologized. Assertive folks don't let ego get in the way.

It's your blog and your space. I am personally very grateful you share your thoughts with the rest of us. You are a good man Fred.

Cheers,

[Julie]

Been reading this blog for a while and never felt compelled to post -- until now.

It never ceases to amaze me how people throw around "relationship building" and "people skills" like platitudes. As though merely articulating these things now means that they exemplify the principle. But we all know (or should) that the proof of the pudding is in the tasting. It's how people show up EVERYDAY and how they treat other people, particularly those who can do nothing for them. When all's said and done, THAT'S the only metric that matters. And it's how the universe keeps score...

Therefore, I would caution anyone here or elsewhere who overlooks, trivializes or otherwise attempts to justify arrogant, rude or otherwise unacceptable behaviour simply because that person happens to be "credible". Credibility speaks to one's achievement and knowledge in a given subject matter area. But it has nothing to do with a person's CHARACTER. It surely has nothing to do with INTEGRITY. And having a blog gives you neither. My God, wouldn't the world be a different place if we revered character, integrity and emotional intelligence the way we revere other things that matter not at all...

So, arrogant though he may be, please accord Fred the right to be human, as we all are. That's right, he's human and we should not accord him, ourselves, any other VC, wealthy individual (or celebrity, for that matter) idol status. We live in a culture where people excuse or explain away all manner of inappropriate behaviour all day long because of the person's "status" (real or imagined) and our desire to access them. But don't you see? When this happens, we are all part of the problem -- we create the monsters we rail against. So putting an end to this, on someone's blog or elsewhere, means that it has to start with each one of us.

Fred's apologized, which means he's taking responsibility for his stuff (and in this day and age, so many people don't, you know). Hopefully all of this will contribute to his understanding (and ours) of what it really means to build RELATIONSHIP. It's more than a notion, you know...

[mark]

just unbelievable. Pietro. If you want to sling mud at someone you don't know, but who you clearly follow - from a position of annonymity - you might consider that the lack of response is due to the fact that you are Pietro from Brazil. We all know who fred is - who are you?

[Tony Alva]

Pietro more than likely prefers the "new" clean and sober Aerosmith records and feel slighted because Fred turned him down after he flew all the to NYC to pitch him an idea he had about dial up access to this new thing called the internet.

To be ignored...

[Pietro (BRZ)]

Excuse me for being dense (cheers for the jingoistic sentiments my American friends) but what exactly did Fred apologize for? Certainly not for being arrogant, as I said he shouldn't, because that's a meaningless gesture and was only intended for people to rush to his side to say "be yourself!" His words were chosen very carefully, like a politician, to make a non-apologetic apology while changing the issue.

And like a politician, it's his blinding hypocrisy and refusal to engage in a real explanation that stings. I still don't understand what he meant by saying Jeff Jarvis's comments were the best because the response has been, in effect, "I'm going to ignore them anyway because it was overblown and I'm still proud of my involvement in shilling for Microsoft, or at the least I dig a campaign that showcases me as a thought leader."

Simply put, he wanted to make a point of going on the record that he respects Jeff's right to have an opinion but he's not actually agreeing with it at all.

It's exactly the type of doublespeak one would expect from the Bush-Cheney administration and that dog don't hunt while its masters get richer and don't have to answer the questions they don't want to.

And who am I? Lord of the f*ckin thighs, that's who. Thanks for ignoring this in advance.

[Waldron]

Best Aerosmith album must certainly be Rocks, if only because of the song "Last Child". To me, it completely captures the spirit of the band at the time, without the baggage that goes along with being overplayed, like Dream On.

On the other hand... Sweet Emotion is a damn good song!